Blog Post 16

September - December

Am I willing to step out of the crowd, am I willing to put my own desires aside for Christ? I have been so challenged over the past few months with these thoughts. Where is my zeal for Christ, am I sold out for Christ? Am I learning from Him, am I being obedient, am I being changed, am I committed to His glory? Have I surrendered to Christ and His sovereign Lordship over every aspect of who I am - not on my terms but on His terms. Am I willing to take up my cross and follow Him? I am convinced that Christ is calling me to follow Him fervently. My life, all that I have, all that I desire - all are His. He bought my soul, He gave His life for me. This is the only life that I have - I want to be spent for Christ. I desire to be led by Him, I desire to be directed and used by Him in whatever I do. Is this not what a Holy God demands? How can we hide from a God who knows and see"s everything? Yielding to Christ, surrendering to Him involves more than just an emotion - it involves action. I want to be moved into action!

Recently, a few of us from ICBM were able to go on a missions trip to Mozambique. I remind myself over and over again, just how privileged I am  to go and be a part of what God is doing among other people groups. Every time I get to minister with and alongside people within a new culture, where there are language barriers - I realize just how much hard work it is.We met up with two missionary couple's who were previously serving in their local Churches and teaching at the Word of Life Bible Institute in Brasil; before they were led to be missionaries in Mozambique. Carlos, a former pastor and elder of a local church in Brazil for over 20 years left what was comfortable for him and he together with his wife; they followed the call to missionary work. He went beyond his Jerusalem (Brazil), beyond Judea and into Mozambique(which is now his Samaria). Ministry he said was versatile - you never know what you will be doing as a missionary. One day you may need to meet with people, you may need to deliver a message, do admin, complete practical tasks, counsel people. A man who is flexible and willing can be used by God in Missions. One lesson I learnt was that in order for one to be flexible, one must first be humbled. Pride is such a big problem - it really brings about division and disunity - relationaly this is one of our biggest challenges when working with people. When you are involved with God's work - the enemy will come and attempt to destroy ! Unless you are humbled, you can not be dependent on God. Unless you are moved to love, your works are pointless. We were a group from diverse backgrounds and it could have been so easy for us, to work against one another. But Christ was our focus, and the Holy Spirit our guide, and God our defender! What a blessed experience, what a privilege to learn from others, to see what I saw and not be changed is impossible. To see them persevering, despite the difficulties,to see them labor - hour in and hour out. They press on, they love, they suffer,they sacrifice with joy because of their love for Christ , for the furtherance of His kingdom and the spread of His Gospel.

In my last letter I asked that you pray for my pre finals. Praise the Lord I passed with good marks - what an answer to prayer. I would like to ask you to please pray for my final exams, we write this week and I have been struggling to focus( it has been a long year). Also pray for the next two months, that I would work as one who works for the Lord. That I would not grow weary in doing good. I worked in Oncology recently and it was such an amazing privilege. It is not an easy thing to see people hopeless, with no good news - just waiting for their turn to die but it was such an eye opener once again to the reality of death. To consider that Christ has conquered death and sin, and the fact that He has accomplished that and we can know that and experience that victory. What a wonderful truth to have in our hands - Holding such an awesome Gospel in front of a person who's prognosis is bad brings such peace and joy to hopelessness. I praise the Lord that I can share my faith so openly without persecution but I know that Christ is calling me to suffer for His name - daily I follow Him in obedience, no matter what the cost. He is my rock and my salvation - I shall not be shaken!

Blog Post 15

May - August

So here we are nearing the end of my third year, has it felt like a lifetime? yes! Do I regret the decision to get equipped to be a nurse? no! Am I thankful to the Lord for His grace and mercy in my life? YES!
I am so undeserving of Christ's love and yet He loves me despite me. I know I couldn't possibly fully grasp the full measure of His grace towards me but I can say that I am thankful for my salvation and for the way in which He keeps me and sustains me. This year has presented itself with so many challenges and trials, yet over and over again God has granted me the grace to overcome. When I find myself focusing on just how big my problems are I remind myself again just how small I have allowed my God to be. It is in those difficult moments when God wants me to look to Him. Daily I remind myself that God is far greater than I can imagine and He is doing something far greater than I can expect. He is sanctifying me, He is renewing me, He is preparing me for eternity with Him. Oh to see that day, what a hope! What a Savior!

In my last letter I mentioned the sudden passing of my brother Christopher, I miss him so much and there are days when it is difficult but I hold on tightly to my Rock! Just after my brother passed , I needed to move from where we were staying. God provided a place for me to stay with a wonderful sister in Christ who takes her walk with God seriously. Although this was a temporary solution, the Lord really used that time to bless me. I praise the Lord for the time that we had to stay together, I got to make a new friend :-)

The Lord has since provided a room for me to stay in on a more permanent basis with a family from my Church. The Van Zyl's have 4 daughters and they are a delight to stay with. I have been very challenged by their unconditional love, I am reminded daily of that quote from Paul Tripp "Serving others when our circumstances are difficult  free others from the hollow pursuit of personal glory and the enslaving nature of self love " I can testify that this family have shown that to me in a very practical way and it has challenged me to want to live a life like that. Praise the Lord for His patience and mercy with us!

Blog Post 14

November - April

I have delayed in sending out this newsletter update and in all honesty I really have no excuse for my silence. I am not really sure what to say or where to start but I do covet your prayers. Thank you so very much for your continued prayer and support, it really has meant the world to me.Please may I ask that you continue praying for me and my heart. Pray that I would not loose sight of the glory of God. Pray that I will cling to Him and not loose sight of the hope that I have, please pray that I would continue to pursue Christ and His Word, by His grace. Moment by moment, day by day, that I may rest the whole weight of my being on the promises of God.

Praise the Lord for His grace, I was accepted by Netcare for entry into third year nursing and I am currently doing my practicals at Pretoria East Hospital and attending lectures at Centurion Campus. We recently wrote an Ethos exam so please pray, that if the Lord wills, that I would pass.I am really learning so much and I am most thankful to the Lord for this change.I did not always understand it, I was not always thankful for it and I did not always think it was the right move, but I was moved..

I have had the privilege of staying with my youngest brother Christopher and his girlfriend for the last 5 months.We had shared some great memories overseas together and I am so thankful to the Lord for that time, as difficult as it seemed God was still in control.We often had arguments about my faith and many opportunities presented themselves where I was called to live out what I really believe.It was not easy and I often failed, however God was gracious and merciful to us all.

Just four months later, I received a call from my sister to tell me the devastating news. Our brother  Christopher was in an unexpected explosion at his scrap yard. Oh how I long for some hope, some answer but I can not have that assurance. It is not an easy thing and it's painful and I would trade the immensity of this grief for anything. But I rest in the character of God and the truth found in scripture, it is the only place to find true hope. To know that I have an all knowing, never changing, all powerful, ever present God who knows my suffering, who understands my pain.

It has been the Cross, the love of God experienced at the foot of the cross. That is where I have found rest for my soul. This cross is so glorious, the glory of God manifest through this sacrifice, this suffering, this anguish. My God knows all about this pain, He is with me, even when I don't want to be with Him, even when I am angry, when I don't understand why, even when I believe He has forsaken me and rejected me, and failed to hear me. I can rest in His love even when I don't want His love, I need to remember that He has loved me and that He will not forsake me.This is the God we serve, let us not forget that He is who He is despite what we think. I praise Him for His grace and mercy!

When we think that the trials have stopped, we find ourselves in another and I have really experienced God's protection and grace in the trials of this life. God has been my Shepherd and comforted my soul in so many ways.